15 year old saves herself from Sexual Abuse: Case Study – Anjali (name changed)

Art Credit & Source: isuvoa.deviantart.com

NAME: Anjali (name changed to protect the child’s identity)

Age: 15 years old

Originally hailing from a small village in southern part area of Maharashtra, Anjali’s family shifted to Mumbai more than a decade ago in search of a good job and better life. In a family of six, Anjali is the third of four daughters in the family and remembers the time when nine years ago she and her family used to stay in Malad (northern area of Mumbai) and her small home was demolished for road development, and then they had shifted to our project area of Sangharshnagar.

Due to restricted financial resources, Anjali, after school hours, used to stay at home and help her mother in the evenings, instead of taking up any skill-development or tuition classes. But her family felt lucky to have supportive neighbours, who soon became almost like a family, especially to Anjali and her sisters during the day while the parents used to be at work. The man of the neighbouring house, whom Anjali fondly used to call ‘uncle’ treated Anjali like his own daughter, gifting her toys, frocks and fruits very often. But soon, the number of his visits for Anjali, especially in the absence of her other family members started increasing and giving nightmares to Anjali.

“He started coming almost every day in the afternoons, when my sisters would be at school and parents at work,” Anjali says, “When I was a child, he used to fondly hug and kiss me, even in front of my parents, but they were very paternal in nature then. But now, over the last few years, these gestures became very inappropriate. He would say that I’m becoming a very beautiful young woman and that hence at this he is massaging me to help enhance the growth of my girly parts. I would feel disgusted and resist but he wouldn’t let me. He would forcefully touch me extremely inappropriately and I didn’t know what to do. I knew that if I spoke to anyone, no one would believe me because in front of others, he would behave like a father-figure to me. I started falling into depression because of this!”

Soon after, time came for the Life Skills Empowerment (LSE) project to start mobilizing beneficiaries for the new academic year, and since Anjali stayed in Sangharshnag, where the sessions were to be held twice a week, Anjali’s parents agreed for her to enroll in the latest batch since they thought of her as a very shy girl. Continuing with the details of her ordeal, Anjali narrates the rest of her story –

“From the very beginning only, I enjoyed the LSE sessions a lot and noticed such positive changes in myself. I became confident in speaking my mind in front of friends and family and was able to articulate my thoughts, manage my studies and handle my stress in a much better way. In fact, our Animator, Prafullata Didi is so helpful that I and all my batchmates even share our personal problems with her and she helps us solve them, even if it is the middle of the night! And so one day, after a session on ‘Good Touch-Bad Touch’, when I realized that what was happening with me was not just inappropriate but sexual abuse, I spoke to Prafullata Didi and she asked me to immediately speak to my mother about it. Although I knew that my mother wouldn’t believe me, I did speak to her and alas, my doubts turned out to be true. Then, with Didi’s help, I planned to call my mother home early one day when I knew that uncle would be coming over again. And thankfully, that day my mother walked in on this uncle troubling me and threw him out!”

Anjali wanted to file a police complaint against the abuser, but her family resisted fearing the social stigma that comes along with sexual abuse in our communities, “Unfortunately in our society, if anyone finds out that a girl has been a victim of sexual harassment or abuse, people start criminalising her and treating her like a piece of garbage that shouldn’t be touched, instead of penalizing the perpetrator,” explains Anjali on why her parents didn’t go to the police, “And my mother got so worried that nobody will ever marry me if my story got out….”

But after that day, Anjali is confident and completely capable of standing up for herself and fighting for herself. “This change in me has been possible only because of LSE and Didi and I cannot express how happy I am to be associated with it, thanks to Mumbai Smiles because of whom, today I am able to guide my sisters and friends better in dealing with stressful situations in life”,  Anjali exclaims!